Whettenwild: What happens when mom is gone?

You know the saying "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"? Well apparently that is also the case when Mom is out of the house and Dad is watching the kids. I was just looking at my pictures and found this :

I'm guessing Alexia got into my makeup while I was gone. I still haven't asked Conal about it. Well that explains what happened to my makeup. I am so surprised that one of the kids didn't tell me about this! Usually it would be the first thing they said as I walk in the door.

From the mouths of babes

Macy (very sweetly and sincerely) " Mom, you aren't VERY stupid." 11/4/2011
Jackson" Mom, I LOVE all of your dresses.........except the weird ones." 11/4/2011
Garrison:"Hey Jackson, what's 10 plus 10?" Jackson:" Garrison, there is no such thing as 10 plus 10" 10/2/2011
Alexia: singing--"I've been workin' on the railroad, all the heckin' day" 10/2/2011
Jackson: (After seeing Jarom on BYUtv) "Mom, I don't think Dad knows that Jarom is my cousin" 9/17/2011
Jackson:"Ahhhhhhhh! I got White Sands in my eyes!" 9/17/2011
Garrison:"Alexia, if you don't leave Jackson alone, you are no longer going to be his sibling-mentor-hero." 06/2011
Jackson:" Grandma and Grandpa can come visit again. So can Aunt Mandi, Jamison, Jace, Johnny, and Mckenna. BUT, Nephi's brothers can NOT come visit. They tie people up for praying!" 5/2011
Jackson: "Mom, Maybe is a YES word!" 5/2011
Jackson: "Sienna, you are so cute, I love you! I remember when we buyed you at the hospital!" 5/2011
Macy:"That is NOT a bad guy OR a giant. It's Mom." 5/2011
Jackson: (After we killed a cockroach) "That was one UGLY butterfly" 5/2011
Macy (while Conal was outside watering the lawn): "Look! Daddy is washing the grass!" Alexia:" No Macy, he is SHAVING the grass!" 4/2011
Macy: (singing "We Will Rock You") "We will, we will, ro-cket-ship! " 3/2011
Me:(after doing a lame-o version of "Can't Touch This" from "Just Dance wii") Wow, I should be on So You Think You Can Dance!" Garrison: "I was thinking more along the lines of America's Funniest Home Videos." 1/2011
Me:"Jackson, you are my favorite 4 year old in the whole world!" Jackson: "and you are my favorite 99 year old!" 1/30/2011
Me:"Wow, I'm so tired I need a nap!" Alexia:(laughing hysterically) "That's hilarious Mom! Moms don't take naps!" Jackson "Yeah, only BAD moms take naps..................well maybe good moms take naps???" 1/2011
Conal "Hey guys, Sienna's almost 6 months old!" Jackson "Yeah, Sienna's almost bigger!" 12/2010
Jackson:"Don't worry Mom, cats aren't mean. They aren't even real." 11/2010
Alexia:"Mom, I washed up the sink after I brushed my teeth!" Me:"Thanks Alexia, I'm so proud of you!" Alexia: " I scrubbed it up with my toothbrush!" 11/2010
Me:"Alexia, its time to go to bed.". Alexia" I can't Mom. My room exploded.". 11/2010
Jackson:" Mom, can I have some Freakin' Berry?" (Frankenberry cereal) 10/2010
Jackson:" Mom, where did diarreah kid go?" Alexia:"Jackson, its 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid'". Jackson: (with a "yeah I know" inflection) "Yeah, Diarrhea of the kid". 9/2010
Me: "How was school today Alex?" Alexia "It was good but we didn't work out at the gym today." 8/31/2010
Grandpa "What did you learn at Kindergarten today Lex?" Alexia" Nothing that we didn't already know." 8/31/2010
Alexia: " Mummies without toilet paper aren't mean. Mummies WITH toilet paper are scary!" 8/2/2010
Jackson:"Hailey, Sienna is not a her, he's a she!" 7/31/2010
Jackson :" Daddy, I'm afraid of those grassjumpers!" (grasshoppers) 7/21/2010
Jackson:" Dad, I don't want to wear those underpants. I want different ones. Those are too spicy." 7/21/2010
Alexia:" HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY..... mothers-day-woman!" 5/2010
Hailey: "Mom, some girls in my class don't comb their hair everyday. Can't you be one of those mom's who doesn't do hair?" 5/10
Alexia: "Can I have another egg taco?" (an omelet---which I might add she was eating like a taco.) 5/2010
Alexia:" Mom, are you a fonabor?" Me:" Alex, what exactly is a fonabor?" Alexia:"Someone who eats macaroni and cheese. " 4/2010
Garrison "Once you get past infinity plus infinity, it gets messy after that." 3/10
Jackson: (after we bonked heads) "Ouch mommy, my mind hurts!" 3/10
Alexia: "Mom, is it ok if I read this book about 'pa-hon-ix'?" Me: "What???" Alexia:" This book about Pa-hon-ix" Me:"I don't know what that is, let me see the book." It was a book about Phonics. Huked on fonix werked fur me. 2/23/10
Garrison:" I guess I can't yell like a girl anymore. I lost it. See....AHHHHHHHHH! Oh, I guess I found it again." 2/21/10
Alexia:" Boogers live in noses." 2/11/09
Alexia: "Um Mom, I can see up your two nose throats." (nostrils) 2/11/09
Hailey: "I think I want to serve a mission in Rhode Island. Well......maybe not. Islands have volcanoes." 1/31/10
Conal: "I think the name Monique is so cool and so pretty, that I married a girl named Monique." Hailey:" Dad.......we already knew that.". 1/10
Garrison:" Mom, I'm not sure if I want to play an instrument or not when I grow up. Maybe I just want to be one of those guys that exersizes a lot." 1/10
Hailey: "Today is January 1st, and I'm not having very much fun. It feels more like September 2nd. " 1/1/10
Conal: "Guess what guys, I get to stay home from work today!" Garrison:" Awesome! Even better, we are having oatmeal for breakfast." 11/09
Alexia: " Mom, I don't want THAT for dinner. I want something delicious. Something with Chocolate drizzeled on it." 9/09
Hailey referring to Grandma Burton "Even though she is young I still like her. " 9/09
Alexia "Oh NO! Mommy, my blankie has a hole in it. We need to take it to a blankie doctor. Hurry!" 8/09
Garrison: "I hope that movie isn't rated "R" because I want to see it." Hailey: "What does rated "R" mean?" Garrison: "It means us Mormons can't watch it because it has too much violence." Hailey: "What is violence?" Garrison: "It means that there are a bunch of people punching each other." 8/09
Hailey: "It seems like Mexico is in the olden times, because they ARE in the olden times. They don't have much electricity there." 8/09
Alexia: "Mom, freeze out!" (chill out) 7/09
Alexia: Hey! Who turned off the day?" 7/09
Garrison:" Whoa, I'm dizzy! I wouldn't be dizzy if the fluid in my ears would stop spinning!" 7/09
Garrison: "Mom, I think Macy is crying because she thinks she is in a force field." 7/09
Hailey:" I'm scared of scary stuff" 7/09
Garrison:" Ok, someone probably shouldn't have invented werewolves." 7/09
Alexia (the day after Fathers' Day): Happy babies' day Macy!" 6/09
Garrison:"Mom, can I go outside so I can see if I need a coat?" Me:"Sure." Hailey: "Garrison, can you check to see if it is warm enough for 6 year olds?" 5/09
Garrison: "Dad, did you know that when you get older your bones become more fragile and so they break easier?" Conal: " Yep, that's true." Garrison "Well, then that means you have 34 bones that could break and I have 7 1/2. " 5/09
Garrison: "Be careful Hailey, I almost got my foot caught in the wheel of the stroller, and then I would have gotten a cut, then it would've gotten infected, then I would have to go to the hospital and then I would DIE!" Hailey: "Garrison, this isn't the 'olden days'". Garrison:" Yeah, but we ARE out of bandaids!" 5/09
Hailey "Why does everyone say that everything is only going to be one second when really it takes 4,088 seconds?" 4/09
Hailey:"Mom, I'm getting so excited for my birthday that I am getting bored." 4/09
Me:" Macy, why are you crying sweet heart " Garrison:" It would really help if you spoke "baby". By the way, that means pick me up." 4/09
Alexia: "Mom, can you be Super Mom?" (Then trying to convince me) You could flyyyyyyyy! 4/09
Hailey:" Mom, can we get another kid?" Garrison" Yeah! We have an extra seat in the car!" 4/09
Alexia "Mom, Sister Stone is afraid of fireworks." Me:" Alex, are you sure it isn't you that is afraid of fireworks?" Alexia:"Nope! It's Sister Stone." (Sister Stone is Alexia's primary teacher.........and she has no idea where Alexia got that from) 04/09
Garrison:" I look like a goblin with a chipped tooth." (after he lost one of his front baby teeth) 03/09
Me: "Alexia, what did you learn in primary today?" Alexia: "I learned about coloring." 03/09
Hailey:" Mom, my toe is bleeding!" Me:"which toe?" Hailey:" the one next to my thumb toe." 03/09
Alexia:" Mom, Can I tell you a secret?" Me:" Yes, what is it?" Alexia "Jackson is going straight to college."03/09
Me: "Jackson, lets go get Hail." Jackson: " No go to Hail!"03/09
Garrison: "Mom, did they have electricity when you were born?" Me:" yes Garrison!" Garrison "What about hammers and screws?" Me "How old do you think I am ????" 03/09
Me:"Did you know Grandpa Burton can speak French?" Hailey: " Yeah! Because they went to Spain last year!" 3-8-09
Hailey "I see lots of spy-scapers" (skyscrapers) 3-7-09
Alexia "Grandpa has a pet!" Me: "Well, he used to have a pet. Do you remember what it was?" Alexia "Yep, it was a dinosaur." (3/09)
Jackson referring to baby Nolan "Hey, its a Macy!" 02/09
Jackson: "Daddy, what you DOING??" very loudly, over and over, as Conal is speaking in sacrament meeting.01/09
Hailey: "The other day I saw a guy with long hair. A GUY!" 01/09
Hailey: It is SO unfair that Garrison GETS to go to the dentist and I don't!" 01/09
Garrison: "Ahhhh. Thank you good smelling molecules for landing in my nose!" 01/09
Garrison: "This is the coldest anyone has ever been in the history of life." 12/08
Hailey:" There is something strange about my new school. To tell you the truth, I don't even have a Spanish teacher!" Garrison: "Me Neither!!!" 12/08
Hailey:" You know those weird voices you hear in your head? That is called 'your imagination ' "
Hailey:" Mom, if there is no such thing as aliens, why do I keep hearing alien music?"
Alexia when she wanted to hold Macy: "Please pass the Macy!"
Hailey:" Ms. Smartt isn't going to be at school tomorrow." Me: "Oh yeah, why?" Hailey;"Because she is going to act like Judge Judy." (I found out her teacher has jury duty.)
Garrison saw a picture of a candidate for president: " Hey! isn't that the guy who wants to take all of our money and give it to other people?" Hailey:"I'm definitely not voting for him!"
Alexia: "Gingerbread boy is a girl!"
Jackson: "A cow! MOOO!" Me: "Actually Jackson, that is a horsey" Jackson:" No! cowsie!"
Hailey: "Is that meat from a real chicken or a fake chicken?" Me: "A real Chicken." Hailey: " Do you know what phony bologna is? It's bologna made out of something fake. Like wood or pants or something. You should NEVER eat phony bologna!"
Hailey "I heard a weird sound in there. It sounded like alien music!" Me: "What exactly does alien music sound like?" Hailey" It sounds like alien music. I also heard alien breath."
Hailey:" Mom, did you know that I know sign language?" Me:"No I didn't. Do some for me." Hailey does some hand signals that look a lot like Itsy Bitsy Spider. Me:" Well, what did you say?" Hailey:"I only said that I know how to speak sign language. I never said that I know what it means."
Garrison: "Why are people treating me like an imbecile?" Hailey:"hee hee. That means idiot!"
Alexia: "Look, there's a picture of Daddy and Aunt Mandi!" Me:"No that's Daddy and Mommy." Alexia"Nope. It's Aunt Mandi!"
Hailey: "Listen Everybody! China is a place where some stuff is made of glass." Garrison and Me: "huh???"
Garrison: "Does 'a couple' mean 2?" Me:"yep". Garrison: "Does 'a pair' also mean 2?" Me: "Yep." Garrison: "Well using 'a pair' and 'a couple' together is redundant." Me: "It sure is Garrison". Garrison: "Mom, do you even know what redundant means???"
Hailey:" Look Mom! Their house is ON sale too!"
Hailey: "I do NOT want to be a princess when I grow up. I want to be a firefighter."
Garrison:" Hey Mom, Macy is getting a tooth!...........Oh never mind. I misread her mouth!"
Garrison: "Why don't those cows have gutters?" Mandi, Conal, and me :" Do you mean udders?" Garrison: "Yeah, gutters"
Garrison: "I love little Macy. She is so cute and she never tries to hit me or kill me."
Hailey:" I need to give Macy sitting up lessons."
Garrison: "We're playing Book of Mormon stories. I'm Ether, Hailey is Alma, Alexia is Moroni, and you're Shiz"
Hailey: " Mom, I think Macy is allergic to scary movies."
Garrison to the younger 3 kids, with a Spanish accent: "Chicos, obey mama!" "I'm not sure what Chicos means but I think you are supposed to use it when you are talking to a lot of people.
A long time ago, the sky used to be a very light, dark blue. (Garrison)
Alexia: "Look Mom, there's a parrot!" Me: "Actually that is a ferret." Alexia:" No Mom, PPPPP parrot!"
Mom, you are the best mom in the whole galaxy. By the way, what exactly IS a galaxy? (Garrison)
hmmm. I wonder if a vampire bat bit me when I was a baby. (Garrison)
Me: Alexia, Can you please turn the light back on? Alexia: No Mom! It's too dangerous!
Garrison:"Hey Mom, I was reading the back of the sacrament meeting program, and did you know that Dad is the Elders quorum president, and he doesn't even know it!?!?" Me: "Honey, he knows he's the Elders Quorum president." Garrison "No he doesn't Mom! I PROMISE!"
I think people can read my mind because everything I think comes true. (Garrison)
Mom, are you going to vote for David Cook or David Tarantula? (Hailey)
Mom, since Jacky is kind of crazy, maybe the baby should wait until Jackson is 3 to come out of your belly. (Hailey)
Mom, why is Hailey taking so long in the shower? She is still air conditioning her hair. She put like 5 meters of conditioner in her hair. No, more like 5 KILOMETERS of conditioner. (Garrison)
Is that water leaking onto the ship? What is this......the Titanic? We're going down!! (Garrison says this very loudly after the first 5 minutes on the cruise ship)
Mom, what if a dinosaurs tail knocks our house over when the earth goes back in time? (Garrison)
You aren't supposed to put up just your pinky finger. That is the middle finger in Chinese. (Garrison)
Dinosaurs like macaroni and cheese. (Alexia)
Garrison: Dad, how many days are in a hundred million hundred hours? Conal : I don't know, I'm not that smart. Garrison: You should eat more pineapple.
Ada and Bailie must be cousins because they have the same shirt (Hailey)
I sure hope a rattle snake didn't slither up on to my bed and bite me while I was asleep! (Garrison)
When I'm the weather person I am going to say that it will be warm everyday so that it will NEVER be cold! (Hailey)
"Here comes the bread Mommy, Here comes the bread!" (Alexia after we sang a sacrament hymn for FHE)
As I am preparing garlic bread Hailey says "Mom, can I help? I don't eat butter anymore!"
I LOVE grandma and grandpa's house, except when I stepped in throw-up! (Garrison)
Garrison: " Does Mandi live in North Carolina or South Carolina?" Me: "North Carolina". Hailey: "Can we go visit her?" Garrison:"It's too far away Hailey" Hailey: "No it isn't. Go get the map and I'll show you. I'ts just a zzzzzz DING and you're there!"
The water in the water fountain at school is SO high it reaches the mircrowave, but don't worry, it didn't explode.
Mom, you do a good job with your judging. (Hailey referring to me directing the choir)
My mouth is SOAKED in red! (Hailey)
Mom, I'm a vampire that doesn't drink blood. (Garrison)
Hey! Maybe I'm a vampire and that is why I am scared of them! (Garrison)
Mom, I've tasted brocoli before......and it tastes like grass! (Garrison)
Alexia chants over and over "NO more naps! NO more naps!"
Mom, I am not taking a shower right now, I just heard a spaceship land and I am NOT kidding! (Garrison)
Vegetables are just fruits that don't taste good. (Garrison)

Friday, July 4, 2008

What happens when mom is gone?

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